Because I Live, You Will Also Live.

Hello everyone.

Usually when i write a new blog post, it means that much has happened. And this is me trying to make sense of what God is doing in me.

Yes, i said "in me" and not "through me." "Through me" you see the outward manifestations of a life that is highly imperfect yet broken, yielded, surrendered, humbled, and given to service. You see the strength, the ministry, the fruits, the authority, and the charisma. This my friends, is the power of the Holy Spirit manifested through the weakest vessel among you.

I woke up this morning feeling almost depressed that i had to move again for the 2nd time this year, and in a whole house alone for that matter, far away from the vicinity i have been so used to.

Today i sit in my 2 year old, almost brand new and barely used bed, in my newly finished and furnished house. A house that once held hope of a future i dreamed of. A future that no longer exists. Yet despite how i felt He has never failed to make Himself present for me today as a Father. It's as simple as Him buying me time to eat breakfast, have coffee, and do my quiet time despite not wanting to get out of bed, before the movers arrived (which was surprisingly an hour late); the calmness i felt moving my whole life into a truck and into my car; the unfamiliar road that led to a small aesthetic cafe which happened to have a car wash because my car badly needed it; the old journal i read that reminded me of my life when i was in full time missions and the fire i carried in my spirit as i walked in obedience to God in that season; the younger version of me that was so sure she heard from God and she was telling everyone about it yet she was wrong (haha!); those extra generous tips i felt to give that gave four men smiles on their faces and eyes that lit up as if they were not expecting to receive a blessing this day; even that prompting to just go home even if i wanted to linger in that cafe longer only to realize i ended up home before the heavy rain poured–it's in the small things of today that remind me i am still living in my calling. Why? Because though i am in a season of living physically alone with no family to go home to, i don't feel so alone. God is ever presently with me. The one Who calls me, is in me, beside me, before me, behind me, and around me even in my distress. I just feel Him more when i stop moping around and feeling sorry for myself.

It feels like 2025 will be one of the most fruitful years for me. Since the beginning of this year, i have been plagued with what feels like the greatest pains and griefs in my life. My grandmother's passing last February 1 was the trigger that opened up many more griefs in my soul.

This year feels like a barren wasteland if i focused on the griefs. Pain has been a familiar friend and i have come to a place where i am feeling so sensitive with relationships in general. I felt betrayed and abandoned by people who called themselves my family and my trust is being shaken. The temptation in this wilderness? "Harden your heart. Trust no one. Even God has allowed these painful circumstances to happen to you. He's a sovereign and powerful Father isn't He not? Why would He allow all these pain to happen to you one after the other? He knows how fragile your heart already is."

Our hearts are truly deceitful.

What God has allowed is to strip me off of my "earthly temporary homes" in places and in people. What a savage test, yet very much needed.

This is how i overcome my battles, my friends. When the enemy throws lies at me and painful circumstances continue to shake me, my declaration this year repeatedly has always been "God, You know how i will still choose to love You. I will still choose you. I love You, God."

It is a no brainer why in this spiritual battle, the attacks that come my way is designed to shake that declaration of love.

So yes, this post is a public declaration: I will brave my new season and I will come out more alive than i ever was.

I don't know why I have been relocated to Minglanilla, all the way to the South. But knowing God, there is protection in every closed door and purpose to every opened door which is from Him. I choose to trust God amidst the questions, the tears, the pain, and the weariness.

Since February, i have constantly been in battle mode in the area of fighting for my life, my hope and my purpose. Just when i start getting my joy back and feeling like i've landed securely, another test comes to try my faith. I have entertained temptations to give up and abort certain assignments. But every time i feel down, my Commander God always sends an encouragement and reinforcement. It's already June 13, i am still alive, breathing, and purpose-driven.

Today, i felt like something heavy and old in my spirit is dying a slow death. As i drove towards my new season, i felt Him speak to me about "living."

An ambulance passed by and at the back wrote: "We serve..So that other's may live."

It reminded me of John 14:19 - "Because I live, you also will live" and Psalms 118:17 - "I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done."

This is an encouragement to those who are going through countless valleys of testings lately: don't give up. Hope was paid for in the cross. We have access to find joy again despite the sorrows. And Jesus has already won the victory.

As you watch my life whether from a distance or if you are walking with me on the same route, know that behind the strength of a confident godly woman is a child who is backed up by a perfect Father forever dedicated to her growth and success.

If you're a child of God, may you find your footing by faith and choose to always fix your eyes on Jesus who can give you true rest and encouragement.

If you don't have Jesus yet, may you find your savior in Him. True life and eternal pleasures can only be found in God through a real relationship with Jesus.

See you after this testing.

I'll be wearing the joy God gave me.

Your big sister in Christ,

Christy